I never want to use bad words for anybody but this time I am using. The writer of this mail is a fool and a total stupid.
I am an Indian gay man and I am married with a woman. About five years ago, I disclosed to my wife that I am gay. My children also know about it. In spite of this, if I was in that gay party, I would have agreed to pay any amount (even several lakhs of rupees) to the police, rather than being arrested, resulting in an announcement of my homosexuality to the whole world.
If today the people come to know that I am a homosexual, the prospects of the marriage of my children, who will soon approach marriageable age, will be simply finished. I cannot ruin the lives of my children, come what may. I also want to live a true life openly as a gay with dignity (and that is the reason why I myself disclosed to my wife and children) but not at this cost.
Most gay men in India are married, they have children, and their children go to school. If the people come to know about a school child that his father is gay and he was caught attending a gay party, it should not be very difficult for we people to understand the consequences. Those young gay boys who are unmarried might also have younger brothers and sisters who will have to be married away by their parents in due course. If the news about their gay status spreads in the society in this way, their siblings can never hope to get married. I do not think that I need to write more on this issue. All of us know that in India the families of such gay men will be outcasted, will be completely boycotted, may be thrown out of the colony, may be attacked and worse can happen. The gay man will be thrown out of his job; he will lose all his clients if he is in business and worse will happen. To be precise, some gay men will have to commit suicide if their homosexuality is disclosed to the world in this way. In spite of the suicide, the reputation of their families will be completely lost. The writer of this mail ought to know this.
The organizers of this party have invited trouble on their own by their irresponsible and unruly behaviour. Whenever you are going to have a large gathering of people, the first thing which you should do is to inform the local police in advance and take their permission for the event. The organizers did not do this. On the contrary, they were playing loud music in the midnight creating trouble for others. If heterosexual men and women organize such parties to solicit sex, their party will also be raided by police. We regularly read in the newspapers about certain rave parties being raided by the law enforcing agencies due to unruly behaviour of the participants who are heterosexuals. Even after the removal of 377, the police will raid such parties. Removal of 377 is not a license to seek and solicit sex in a large gathering of people any where any time. Even heterosexuals will be prosecuted if they do this. If you organize such a party and indulge in unruly behaviour after 377 goes, the police will certainly blackmail you. They will threaten you to book you under some other section for which you will have to reveal your name and address, and then the police will threaten you that they will inform your wife and parents that you are gay unless you pay them.
As long as you have a secret and a hidden life, you are vulnerable to blackmail. 377 or no 377, it makes no difference. This is true of any other secret which you might have. If you have taken bribe and somebody knows this, he can black mail you. If you have stolen something and somebody comes to know about it, you can be blackmailed. The only option left for you is to have an open life, without any secrets.
This is the reason I have been requesting that we should fight the government for creating an acceptability of homosexuality in the society, not just removal of 377. The govt. should start it with Same-sex Marriage Law. Thereafter, the govt. should publish the opinion of medical science about homosexuality in newspapers, magazines, show it on TV, radio etc. and also publicize it through all other means of mass communication. We should force the government to launch special drives so that gays come out of their closet. The govt. should make teams of medical doctors, psychiatrists, social workers, government officers of the ministry of social welfare, NGO's etc. who will publicize in the society that being a homosexual is same as being a heterosexual and there is no difference between the two. The government should highly publicise the addresses and contact details of such teams and create help lines to which gay men can contact. After this, these teams should meet the parents, relatives, neighbours, colleagues, friends etc. of the gay men, disclose to them that the man is a gay and there is nothing wrong in it. Similarly, we should force the government to launch special drives for married gay men and encourage them to take divorce telling their relatives and friends the truth about homosexuality.
This is the correct way to come out, and not the way this stupid gentle man is suggesting - solicit sex in a gay party, get arrested, and get disclosed. Horrible!
I am sorry to use the bad words in my mail, but I am very agitated the way this mail has been written.
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