Thursday, June 25, 2009

When Harry asked Henry for a dance

When Harry asked Henry for a dance

By: Pragyan Mohanty

 

Date:  2009-06-25

 

Place:Delhi

 

 

From far-flung farmhouses and shady parks, gay galas have moved into chic clubs. Taking up the premier party night slots, queer clubbing now means big moolah bigger than the 'regular' party scene. But even as club owners are raking huge money from gay chic, they keep it hush hush

The dramatic makeup complemented her backless halter top and voluminous printed skirt. The twenty-something PYT ran her fingers through her ironed hair and boys standing at a distance wouldn't take their eyes off her. But far from basking in their attention, the girl wouldn't even look at them for she was waiting for her partner a striking girl as old as her who stepped out of a car dressed in a bloused top and a pair of denims.

http://www.mid-day.com/imagedata/2009/jun/GAY-PARTY.jpg

Unfazed by the prying eyes, the lissome lesbian pair walked hand-in-hand towards the entrance of the pink paradise of Delhi Polka. A hip nightclub tucked in the swish Kailash Colony Market in South Delhi, Polka hosts gay and lesbian bashes on Saturdays.

Party high
With the strobe lights and disco balls gleaming, the DJ spinning retro funk and pints of beer making rounds the ambience at Polka is just as it is at any trendy nightspot across the country. The difference creeps in only on Saturdays when the couples curling up in the dim-lit corners or those swaying on the dance floor are
only guys-who-love-guys and girls-who-love-girls.

And this isn't the only destination for these party hearty people. Pegs 'n' Pints a dainty disco at the capital's bureaucratic bastion Chanakyapuri observes Tuesdays as gay gala. An all-men affair, PnP has diplomats, expats, members of fash frat thronging in for their share of 'man' moment. This apart, a couple of clubs in South Delhi and Noida, too, host soirees for queers.

Things are also hotting up on lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) party scene in Mumbai. Along with the popular Gay Bombay bashes, there are also other new-generation organisations that are making sure that the community unwinds in style. Salvation Star, an event management company that manages parties for the queers, promises 'fabulous parties, a global music scene and rocking celebrations.' Salvation Star organises parties at elite clubs in Delhi and Mumbai, with an entry charge of Rs 1,100, redeemable against unlimited food and drink, and a chance to meet someone new.

Paisa bolta hai
Call it the liberation of the non-heterosexuals or urban India's growing acceptance for the members of the queer community, or simply the business revenue that this 'last great minority' brings with itself, these nightspots slot LGBT parties on important days like Friday and Saturday.

From remote farmhouses to plush clubs, the partying scene for queers has undergone a significant change.

Located in busy market areas, these nightlife spots have regular clubbing happening all through the week and queer parties on slated days. Delhi-based Abodh, who's a regular at many such bashes, says, "No matter how much closet bound we are in the society, when it comes to merriment, we simply live it up. These bashes aren't just about unwinding; they are the avenues where one meets new people. New associations are built over discussions as diverse as fashion, movies, or even recession."

Working with an IT firm, Abodh discovered his sexual leanings in his early twenties. Many of his straight friends accompany him to these parties. "Our parties are wacky and fun, so many straight clubbers end up hanging out with us." Star and Rayo, a straight couple from Mumbai, second this view. The pair attends most of the Salvation Star parties. "Homosexuals are bright and friendly bunch. We love it here," smiles Star. The setting works for a couple since no one is trying to distract or disturb them. "It's pure fun with good music," she says.

So with a host of straight clubbers joining the revelry, the business is booming. Even as most of these parties are still word-of-mouth things and aren't advertised overtly, they end up generating more revenue as compared to rest of the clubbing days a fact certified by most of the club owners and party organisers. "The business on Saturdays, the Boyzone Nights, is huge as compared to the other days. The number of people wanting to enter the club on this day is massive," says Polka's manager.

Better organised
"Clubs are surely minting good money from gay gala. Even though farmhouse parties are funner, pubs have emerged as a convenient option," informs Amrish (name changed), an MNC employee who doubles up as an organiser for queer get-togethers in Delhi. Associated with the LGBT social scene in the city for over 10 years, Amrish cites the fitting arrangements of night clubs and the infamous Pushkin Chandra murder case (see box) as the primary reasons for the reduced stature of farmhouses as queer party venues. "The fear of being harassed by cops and security issues restrict people from holding parties here," he tells. Pubs and discothques with their cohesive setup, proper licenses and stringent security keep things in order.

"We have rarely provided police protection to any of these clubs on such special nights. They usually have their bouncers and security personnel taking charge. When it comes to such parties, there are a very few incidents of brawls reported to cops," informs a senior police officer from the Greater Kailash area in Delhi.
 
Taboo topic
Though a money spinner, the concept hasn't received a whole-hearted acceptance. "Club owners are still wary about the hostile response that such 'unconventional' meetings would result in," says Amrish. Be it the Saturday soiree at Polka and Tuesday party at PnP in Delhi, or the Salvation Star shindigs in Mumbai, the details of the events are circulated within the community.

While cities like Mumbai and Delhi still have the community finding out ways for savouring its share of action, Bangalore in spite of hosting two Pride Parades is still struggling with the LGBT party culture. When it comes to gay hangouts in the city, many believe there aren't specific pubs and lounges. Areas around Brigade Road, Church Street and St Marks Road are considered to be the regular meeting points for homosexuals. They like to meet in these places because of the perceived anonymity. "Our society is such, where the division between the genders is still not all that coherent, and hence the grey area exists," explains L Romal M Singh, a gay freelance journalist from Bangalore. "The cynicism could partly be because homosexuality isn't still legalised in India and partly because it is still a taboo topic," Amrish opines.

So even as these hip-and-happening queer parties mean cool clubbing experience and big moolah, it's the bigger fear of being singled out that dominates the minds of the bars barons at times that of the community too.

As Delhi-based in-the-closet lesbian, Sumedha, sums it up, "Sure, we are the money-makers, but we aren't a 'straight' way of doing so."

With inputs from Sumana Jayanth in Bangalore, Prawesh Lama in Delhi, Aastha Atray Banan in Mumbai and Debarati Palit in Pune

 

 

Email: moderator@gaybombay.in

Web Sites:

www.gaybombay.in

www.gaybombay.info

www.gayindia.org

E Groups:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay

http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay

GB Radio

www.gaybombay.in/gbradio

Gaybombay breaking news and annoucements

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/Gaybombay

Emergency Helpline number 9820565885

Orkut:

http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=22091955 

 Blogs:

http://gaybombay.blogspot.com

http://gaybombay.wordpress.com 

Twitter

http://twitter.com/gaybombay

 

Re: shame on us What will YOU do Prashant?

Dear Mr. Zameer,
 
I know that you are a German and Germany is quite open to homosexuality. But you are living in India and I expected you to know the difference between Germany and India in the matter of homosexuality. Homosexuality in India is totally unacceptable as of now. It is considered as the most shameful thing on earth in India. Nothing is as shameful as being a gay in India. Even committing a murder is not considered so shameful. A person who has committed a murder refuses to accept it only since he is afraid of the law and he doesn't want to go to jail. If we assure a person who has committed a murder that the law will not catch him, he will accept it without much hesitation. However, an Indian gay man will never accept it in his life. This remains a secret throughout the lives of most Indian homosexuals and it burns with them in their pyre. Since you are living in India and you are in close contacts with Indian gays, I expected you to know this, even though you are a German.
 
The coming out process for Indians, due to this reason, is very carefully thought, is slow, and gradual. Since Indian Media, print and electronic, has, of late, started giving a little exposure to homosexuality, some young gay boys have started acting brave and they have started disclosing. But their method remains slow and gradual. First they tell to their parents at a time when their parents start forcing them for marriage. At that time they do not even tell to their brother and sisters. They just tell their father and mother.. The parents, normally, do not accept their alternate sexual orientation and mostly they make even more hurry to marry them off. In the best case, they consult a psychiatrist. To tell you a startling truth, most Indian doctors and psychiatrists are unaware of medical facts about homosexuality and they try to 'treat' the gay man or woman and convert them to a heterosexual. They suggest to the gay man that he should try to have sex with a girl (I can give published proof of this). Some ask the gay man foolish questions like whether he has an erection. They ask most foolish questions and suggest stupid remedies and try to convert a gay man into a straight man.
 
When the Indian psychiatrists find that their remedies are of no help, or, when the gay boy refuses to accept their advices (probably since he is fully aware of medical findings about homosexuality and he has gone to the psychiatrist only because he is obedient to his parents), then they ask many more questions from their 'patient'. By doing this, they actually try to learn about homosexuality, something which they should have studied in their degree course of medicine, and not through their patients.
 
Once Indian gay men have revealed to their parents, they confide in their very close friends and some other persons who are educated and supportive. What I mean to say is that it is a slow and gradual process.
 
There are some Indian young homosexuals who have revealed to their family members but not to anybody else. Some have revealed it to their parents and close friends but not to others. There are several categories of gay persons on this account. Everybody acts as per his own situation and circumstances. I cannot and should not force even to my own gay life-partner, if I have one with whom I am having a secret matrimonial relationship and with whom I am living in the same house, that he also discloses to his parents simply because I have disclosed to mine. It should be his own decision.
 
Married gay men in India will never disclose to anybody. If their wife knows about it, which is very infrequent not only for pure gays but even for bisexuals, you can be sure that she has caught him having sex with a man or one of his earlier sexual partner revealed it to her because he could not blackmail him (I am a very rare exception. I, one fine morning, went on this adventure on my won and for this I am probably repenting for last five years).
 
You say that the gay men in that party lost a great opportunity to come out. In my opinion, they have not. Such opportunity you can create in a single moment. Just two gay men can go to a public place and start acting indecently and try to have sex in a city park. The police will invariably arrest them, and then they, as per you, should come out. This does not happen.
 
I am sorry to use bad words for you but your mail was so impractical that I did not know how to respond otherwise.
 
Now I will come to the question which you have asked. But before I answer, please understand that even if I did not have any suggestions for a better acceptability for us in India, your method of coming out is impractical and I will not suggest this to anybody.
 
It is true that Govt. of India (GOI) will not easily work on my plans which I suggested in my previous mail. With a very very great difficulty, it is unwillingly agreeing now to just remove 377. This too, because it is having pressure for this from almost whole of the world and it has several other compulsions to do this, one of them being AIDS prevention. What I am suggesting is that the GOI should strive for homosexuality to surface out. This is exactly opposite of what GOI's objective is. GOI will never like to allow this, even after it is forced to remove 377. GOI has an unwritten, but very strong, law that homosexuality should flourish as a hidden an underground sub-culture in India and it should never surface out. GOI enforces this unwritten law with an iron fist through several written laws and it is ready to pay any price for that. Don't you think that GOI knows that up to 90% of Indian gay and bisexual men are married with women which means that GOI has ruined the lives of crores (1 crore = 10 million) of women? GOI also knows that almost 100% Indian lesbians are married with men, which means that their husbands, who are heterosexuals, practically get no happiness in their married lives; they just rape their wives every night. The GOI happily pays this price, only because its objective that homosexuality should not be visible in the society is met. This situation can be corrected only by allowing homosexuality to surface out and by creating acceptability of gay men and women in the society. There is no other way. But GOI will not do this. In fact, GOI forces gay men and women to marry (I can prove this).
 
Knowing this, how should be force GOI to do what I want?
 
Fortunately, in our country, we have judiciary which can order GOI to correct the situation if GOI violates the constitution. Indian Judiciary was purposely created as the third organ of democracy to keep a check on the first two democratic organs, i.e., the parliament and the government. It was felt that the situations might occur in which GOI and the parliament, due to their compulsion of remaining popular among the majority class, will violate the fundamental rights of minority classes. This will be a situation in which minority classes will go into slavery of the majority class. This is unacceptable in a democracy. Therefore, judiciary was given powers higher than even Indian Parliament when it comes to protecting the constitution. Judiciary has a power to scrutinize any law made by the parliament to ensure that the law does not violate the constitution. Similarly, judiciary also has a power to order the Indian parliament to make a law which is necessary for protecting the constitution. The parliament works on majority and makes the laws by majority voting which may not protect the rights of minorities. On the contrary, judiciary works on logic and the principle of natural justice and protects the minorities from the atrocities of the majority. Judiciary has the power to order the government to make a law which protects the rights of just one citizen even if it is against the wishes of remaining one billion population, provided the principle of natural justice is satisfied.
 
Our acceptability in the society is our fundamental right enshrined in the constitution and GOI is violating it.
 
Actually, it was the duty of Indian judiciary to take suo-moto (On their or its own initiative, without external prompting or explicit demand) cognizance of this situation and act against it. But Indian Judiciary has not done this. It has failed in doing its duty. It was expected that Indian Judiciary will rise to the occasion and to its stature, and take corrective action. So far Indian Judiciary has only acted as a subordinate and follower of the Indian parliament. Indian Judiciary has also acted only on the principle of majority. The case of Naz Foundation in Delhi High Court is one of the clear examples of this. The Law Ministry and Home Ministry repeatedly kept saying in the court that they cannot remove 377 since Indian society is not yet ready for homosexuality. These ministries even said that Indian society has so much hate for homosexuality that it is sufficient to describe it as a crime in India. The Delhi High Court never scolded these ministries on this argument. The Court should have become furious on such talks and should have thrown away their rejoinder which they had sent to the court. On the contrary, when Health Ministry supported the petition of Naz Foundation and, thus, the opinions of different government ministries were different on the issue, the High court asked them repeatedly to discuss the issue among themselves and give a single opinion to the court. What was the need to do this? That the government gives a single opinion and the court will give the same opinion as its verdict? There are many such examples which show that presently, the judiciary is also working as the parliament.
 
We will have to wake up the Indian Judicial system which is presently sleeping. We should tell it to stop working as a subordinate to indian parliament. And we should make extensive use of our judicial system to get our rights.
 
The judicial system, however, works on evidence. It does not accept the presumptions. It needs concrete data and facts. If we simply say in the court that the law permitting heterosexuals to marry but not permitting homosexuals to do so is a violation of the right to equality, the court will not act. In spite of the fact that the medical science has already declared in 1973 that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and therefore the homosexuals should be allowed to marry, the court will not listen to us. We should understand that the courts also work on tradition and precedence and not necessarily on the sound principles of law. The courts also give their verdicts on sentiments and emotions and not necessarily on logic. In this case, the court will simply pull out a few words from the dictionary, make a few sentences which will be grammatically correct, and announce its verdict on the basis of these sentences. It has happened in the past and can, rather will, happen in this case also. Please remember that the judge will also be a human being and he will be a heterosexual Indian, having extreme hate for homosexuals. He will try to dissmiss the case by his best ability. In a normal case in which two people fight on some grounds, the objective of the judge is to find whose grounds are correct and more reliable. But in our case, the objective of the judge will be to find out how to reject the case.
 
I have, therefore, made a few plots for some public interest litigations. These plots are small plots. None of them can achieve our full objective. But they can bring us closer to our goal since they are based on concrete data and facts. Here are my plots:
 
1) Homosexuals die without any legal heir because the government has forbidden them to marry and, thus, have their own family. We can accuse that the government purposely wants this to happen so that it can take away everything that they earn through their hard work during their lifetime and use it for the benefit of heterosexuals. A fund is raised in India by a compulsory contribution deducted from the salary of government employees for paying pension to their spouse/children after their death. This fund simply lapses in case of homosexuals. This is unreasonable.
 
2) Several news reports have been published about homosexuals committing suicide due to their unacceptability in the society and their loneliness. This violates the 'Right to Life' given to all citizens in the constitution as a fundamental right. Fundamental rights are sacrosanct. Even the Indian Parliament cannot amend the constitution to take away these rights. We can directly accuse that the Indian Government is violating the constitution by not creating the acceptability of homosexuals in India which the government can easily do by using various means of mass communication such as newspapers, TV, radio etc., the way it has already done for HIV/AIDS infected people. We should also keep in mind that the people attain their HIV positive status mainly because they violate the society's 'one man-one woman' law and develop illicit relations, whereas God creates homosexuals.
 
I have collected some data on this, but more research is required. Some traveling may also be required and we may have to contact various police stations where such incidences have taken place before we can file the case in the court.
 
3) Many news reports have been published about homosexuals getting murdered by their sexual partners for the purpose of looting them. Some homosexuals have been blackmailed by their partners. This happens because homosexuals do not have the right to marriage and have absolutely no acceptability in the society and therefore they are forced to keep their lives highly secret from everybody. They are forced to have sex with completely unknown persons sometimes having much lower financial status than their own and they have no other option but to change their partner everyday to protect their privacy and secrecy. The government is directly and solely responsible for this. This never happens with heterosexuals, not even with those heterosexuals who have several sexual partners. This, again, violates the Right to Life of homosexuals.
 
I have some data on this, but more data should be collected for filing the case.
 
4) The government strictly forbids homosexuals to have an affectionate person who can look after them in times of need e.g. sickness, old age etc. One's parents will die before one and one's brothers and sisters remain busy with their own families. A homosexual's neighbors will never help him in difficult times. On the contrary, they will throw him out of their colony if possible since they hate him. The government has specially created this hatred in the society towards homosexuals by passing and maintaining scientifically incorrect law against homosexuality for more than 150 years and by permitting print/electronic media to publish/telecast factually incorrect material in respect of homosexuals. It is to be noted here that medical science has removed homosexuality from the list of mental disorders about 40 years ago. Not allowing to have a person to take care of homosexuals violates their Right to Life.
 
I have a little of published material about homosexuality which is factually incorrect. But more may be required to prepare an effective litigation against the government.
 
5) Recently I read a medical news report that lonely persons are more susceptible to sickness and disease and they die early. There are also reports published in medical journals which say that a happy marriage has good impact on health and persons having a loving spouse heal their wounds early. I have a few of such reports. The government has barred homosexuals from marrying and is forcing them to remain lonely. This is a direct violation of Right to Life.
 
6) India gives more importance to animals in comparison to homosexuals. Whenever only a single animal of a species is left in a government zoo, another animal of opposite sex of the same species is brought from some other zoo to give it company and mate with it. If no such animal is found in any other zoo of India, an animal is brought from foreign countries at high cost using public money. This is unfair to homosexuals and an insult to humanity.
 
I have several news reports regarding this. I also have a few published articles in which the pain of a single animal in a zoo has been described in great detail. But India has an unwritten, but very strong, law that any story of pain of a homosexual will never be published.
 
7) Several male rapes have taken place in India, especially of young boys. In most of the cases, the young boy is killed after rape. We can write in our petition that homosexuals commit these rapes and murders since they do not have the right to marriage and they are not accepted by the society. We can say that the government is solely and exclusively responsible for these rapes and murders of young boys.
 
Though I have one/two news reports about it and a few articles, but more work will be required before our petition can be ready. However, I have published reports which say that men sexually molest more boys than girls in schools and other places.
 
8) The government is forcing marriages of homosexuals with opposite–sex persons by denying the right to man-man and woman-woman marriages. Presently about 90% of male homosexuals, and about 95% of Indian lesbians may be married. Most bisexuals are, obviously, married but their spouses have no idea about the alternate sexual orientation of their partners who, almost in all cases, cheat them. I have maximum data about this and I may already be in a position to file a case against the government, or a little more research may be done on this.
 
9) There are many family welfare schemes in India. A few examples are: The spouse/children of a heterosexual person get pension after his death, they get free medical care in government hospitals, get leave traveling allowance and many other benefits. Education for the children of heterosexuals in government's schools and colleges is free. All this expenditure is incurred from the funds raised by collecting taxes from Indian masses and homosexuals equally contribute into these funds, but they are not given benefit worth even a single penny from those funds. The government has strictly forbidden homosexuals to have a family. Then how can the government force them to pay equal taxes? Shouldn't their taxes be much lower? In fact, many special subsidies should be given to them since they do not produce children and, thus, save India from population explosion. But they do not get any. The country charges undue taxes from them. Even a special tax called Education Cess is being levied in India that is used exclusively for creating basic infrastructure facilities for government's primary schools and colleges where the children of heterosexuals will be educated free of cost by the government of India. This is a direct violation of 'Right to Equality' enshrined in the constitution.
 
I have already collected quite a lot of data about family welfare schemes and the amount of money the government is spending on them. All this data needs to be put in proper shape before we can file a case against the government.
 
So, what I am waiting for? We should immediately file these court cases against GOI. There is no reason for making any delay.
 
Unfortunately I am under closet, at least till my children get married.. I cannot file any of these cases.
 
Is there anybody out of the closet in India? Can anybody help? I will provide all the legal help. One of my friends is lawyer. But he is also under closet. Of course, he has already examined my plots and he has told me that most of these are perfect plots. The court cannot refuse to admit them and most probably cannot dissmiss them.
 
Zammer, you probably cannot help. You are most probably a German citizen. You cannot file these cases in Indian courts.
 
Any help possible from anybody? The first case which I want to file is the case comparing gays to animals and I want to file the case before 377 is removed. I can prepare all the documents within 10 days after somebody agrees to file the case on my behalf.
 
We will file the case in a High Court (PIL's cannot be filed in a court lower than a High Court). We will not straight away jump to Supreme Court so that we can file an appeal if our case is dismissed by the High Court. That way, we will be able to remain in news for longer periods, even if we finally lose the case.
 
Please help.
 
Prashant

--- On Wed, 24/6/09, kamble zameer <zamkam@yahoo.de> wrote:

From: kamble zameer zamkam@yahoo.de

Dear Prashant,

One of the purpose of posting my mail was to provoke you guys to thinking and responding, whichever way. I am glad you use bad words. At least your honest with your feelings.

And please don't misunderstand me, I am not against homosexuals who are married.

Just to respond to your email, all I read in your email is your suggestions for the NGOs, MEdia and Government.

My only question to you is what are YOU going to do? How are YOU going to contribute.

And if you have any suggestions on how WE should go ahead,

what is your suggestion for us?

Regards
Zameer

I just read you saying the Government should do this and that.


ICC World Twenty20 England '09 exclusively on YAHOO! CRICKET

Re: A gay Indian prince cut off from the throne by his furious parents is to open a chain of men only bars and nightclubs across the country

Prince Manvendrasinh Gohil is a big man today, and I am just nothing. I compare with him like a sand particle to a mountain.
 
But unfortunately, my opinion is just reverse of his.
 
I do not want anything specially meant for gays. I want that gay men and women should remain completely mixed with the main class and are treated as one and the same thing with no special identification.
I categorically do not want any gay bars, any gay clubs and any gay motels. I want that no bar, club, or motel should differentiate anybody on the basis of his/her sexual orientation. I just cannot even imagine that some places exist where only gays are employed.
 
All places on this earth should remain open for everybody and give equal respect to everybody. One's sexual orientation should not be questioned even, unless a specific decision has to be made which depends upon this information.
 
I do not want to have any special identity for myself and i do not want that somebody looks at me as a special item.
 
Do we want to do to gays what we have done to hijras? To look at them and behave with them as an item of special interest and some strange commodity?
 
Prashant

--- On Wed, 24/6/09, moderator@gaybombay.in <moderator@gaybombay.in> wrote:
A gay Indian prince cut off from the throne by his furious parents is to open a chain of men only bars and nightclubs across the country.

Prince Manvendrasinh Gohil, 43, says he wants to make homosexuality more acceptable in India.

"I want to start commercial gay ventures like gay bars, gay clubs and gay motels and employ gay men and support them to give them a stable life," he told reporters in India's western Baroda city.


Love Cricket? Check out live scores, photos, video highlights and more. Click here.

Why Do We Rape, Kill and Sleep Around?

Why Do We Rape, Kill and Sleep Around?

The fault, dear Darwin, lies not in our ancestors, but in ourselves.

http://ndn1.newsweek.com/media/70/FE04-HumanNaturehoax-wide-horizontal.jpg

Illustration by Peter Oumanski for Newsweek

By Sharon Begley | NEWSWEEK

Published Jun 20, 2009

From the magazine issue dated Jun 29, 2009

Among scientists at the university of New Mexico that spring, rape was in the air. One of the professors, biologist Randy Thornhill, had just coauthored A Natural History of Rape: Biological Bases of Sexual Coercion, which argued that rape is (in the vernacular of evolutionary biology) an adaptation, a trait encoded by genes that confers an advantage on anyone who possesses them. Back in the late Pleistocene epoch 100,000 years ago, the 2000 book contended, men who carried rape genes had a reproductive and evolutionary edge over men who did not: they sired children not only with willing mates, but also with unwilling ones, allowing them to leave more offspring (also carrying rape genes) who were similarly more likely to survive and reproduce, unto the nth generation. That would be us. And that is why we carry rape genes today. The family trees of prehistoric men lacking rape genes petered out.

The argument was well within the bounds of evolutionary psychology. Founded in the late 1980s in the ashes of sociobiology, this field asserts that behaviors that conferred a fitness advantage during the era when modern humans were evolving are the result of hundreds of genetically based cognitive "modules" preprogrammed in the brain. Since they are genetic, these modules and the behaviors they encode are heritable—passed down to future generations—and, together, constitute a universal human nature that describes how people think, feel and act, from the nightclubs of Manhattan to the farms of the Amish, from the huts of New Guinea aborigines to the madrassas of Karachi. Evolutionary psychologists do not have a time machine, of course. So to figure out which traits were adaptive during the Stone Age, and therefore bequeathed to us like a questionable family heirloom, they make logical guesses. Men who were promiscuous back then were more evolutionarily fit, the researchers reasoned, since men who spread their seed widely left more descendants. By similar logic, evolutionary psychologists argued, women who were monogamous were fitter; by being choosy about their mates and picking only those with good genes, they could have healthier children. Men attracted to young, curvaceous babes were fitter because such women were the most fertile; mating with dumpy, barren hags is not a good way to grow a big family tree. Women attracted to high-status, wealthy males were fitter; such men could best provide for the kids, who, spared starvation, would grow up to have many children of their own. Men who neglected or even murdered their stepchildren (and killed their unfaithful wives) were fitter because they did not waste their resources on nonrelatives. And so on, to the fitness-enhancing value of rape. We in the 21st century, asserts evo psych, are operating with Stone Age minds.

Over the years these arguments have attracted legions of critics who thought the science was weak and the message (what philosopher David Buller of Northern Illinois University called "a get-out-of-jail-free card" for heinous behavior) pernicious. But the reaction to the rape book was of a whole different order. Biologist Joan Roughgarden of Stanford University called it "the latest 'evolution made me do it' excuse for criminal behavior from evolutionary psychologists." Feminists, sex-crime prosecutors and social scientists denounced it at rallies, on television and in the press.

Among those sucked into the rape debate that spring was anthropologist Kim Hill, then Thornhill's colleague at UNM and now at Arizona State University. For decades Hill has studied the Ache, hunter-gatherer tribesmen in Paraguay. "I saw Thornhill all the time," Hill told me at a barbecue at an ASU conference in April. "He kept saying that he thought rape was a special cognitive adaptation, but the arguments for that just seemed like more sloppy thinking by evolutionary psychology." But how to test the claim that rape increased a man's fitness? From its inception, evolutionary psychology had warned that behaviors that were evolutionarily advantageous 100,000 years ago (a sweet tooth, say) might be bad for survival today (causing obesity and thence infertility), so there was no point in measuring whether that trait makes people more evolutionarily fit today. Even if it doesn't, evolutionary psychologists argue, the trait might have been adaptive long ago and therefore still be our genetic legacy. An unfortunate one, perhaps, but still our legacy. Short of a time machine, the hypothesis was impossible to disprove. Game, set and match to evo psych.

Or so it seemed. But Hill had something almost as good as a time machine. He had the Ache, who live much as humans did 100,000 years ago. He and two colleagues therefore calculated how rape would affect the evolutionary prospects of a 25-year-old Ache. (They didn't observe any rapes, but did a what-if calculation based on measurements of, for instance, the odds that a woman is able to conceive on any given day.) The scientists were generous to the rape-as-adaptation claim, assuming that rapists target only women of reproductive age, for instance, even though in reality girls younger than 10 and women over 60 are often victims. Then they calculated rape's fitness costs and benefits. Rape costs a man fitness points if the victim's husband or other relatives kill him, for instance. He loses fitness points, too, if the mother refuses to raise a child of rape, and if being a known rapist (in a small hunter-gatherer tribe, rape and rapists are public knowledge) makes others less likely to help him find food. Rape increases a man's evolutionary fitness based on the chance that a rape victim is fertile (15 percent), that she will conceive (a 7 percent chance), that she will not miscarry (90 percent) and that she will not let the baby die even though it is the child of rape (90 percent). Hill then ran the numbers on the reproductive costs and benefits of rape. It wasn't even close: the cost exceeds the benefit by a factor of 10. "That makes the likelihood that rape is an evolved adaptation extremely low," says Hill. "It just wouldn't have made sense for men in the Pleistocene to use rape as a reproductive strategy, so the argument that it's preprogrammed into us doesn't hold up."

These have not been easy days for evolutionary psychology. For years the loudest critics have been social scientists, feminists and liberals offended by the argument that humans are preprogrammed to rape, to kill unfaithful girlfriends and the like. (This was a reprise of the bitter sociobiology debates of the 1970s and 1980s. When Harvard biologist Edward O. Wilson proposed that there exists a biologically based human nature, and that it included such traits as militarism and male domination of women, left-wing activists—including eminent biologists in his own department—assailed it as an attempt "to provide a genetic justification of the status quo and of existing privileges for certain groups according to class, race, or sex" analogous to the scientific justification for Nazi eugenics.) When Thornhill appeared on the Today show to talk about his rape book, for instance, he was paired with a sex-crimes prosecutor, leaving the impression that do-gooders might not like his thesis but offering no hint of how scientifically unsound it is.

That is changing. Evo psych took its first big hit in 2005, when NIU's Buller exposed flaw after fatal flaw in key studies underlying its claims, as he laid out in his book Adapting Minds. Anthropological studies such as Hill's on the Ache, shooting down the programmed-to-rape idea, have been accumulating. And brain scientists have pointed out that there is no evidence our gray matter is organized the way evo psych claims, with hundreds of specialized, preprogrammed modules. Neuroscientist Roger Bingham of the University of California, San Diego, who describes himself as a once devout "member of the Church of Evolutionary Psychology" (in 1996 he created and hosted a multimillion-dollar PBS series praising the field), has come out foursquare against it, accusing some of its adherents of an "evangelical" fervor. Says evolutionary biologist Massimo Pigliucci of Stony Brook University, "Evolutionary stories of human behavior make for a good narrative, but not good science."

Like other critics, he has no doubt that evolution shaped the human brain. How could it be otherwise, when evolution has shaped every other human organ? But evo psych's claims that human behavior is constrained by mental modules that calcified in the Stone Age make sense "only if the environmental challenges remain static enough to sculpt an instinct over evolutionary time," Pigliucci points out. If the environment, including the social environment, is instead dynamic rather than static—which all evidence suggests—then the only kind of mind that makes humans evolutionarily fit is one that is flexible and responsive, able to figure out a way to make trade-offs, survive, thrive and reproduce in whatever social and physical environment it finds itself in. In some environments it might indeed be adaptive for women to seek sugar daddies. In some, it might be adaptive for stepfathers to kill their stepchildren. In some, it might be adaptive for men to be promiscuous. But not in all. And if that's the case, then there is no universal human nature as evo psych defines it.

That is what a new wave of studies has been discovering, slaying assertions about universals right and left. One evo-psych claim that captured the public's imagination—and a 1996 cover story in NEWSWEEK—is that men have a mental module that causes them to prefer women with a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7 (a 36-25-36 figure, for instance). Reprising the rape debate, social scientists and policymakers who worried that this would send impressionable young women scurrying for a measuring tape and a how-to book on bulimia could only sputter about how pernicious this message was, but not that it was scientifically wrong. To the contrary, proponents of this idea had gobs of data in their favor. Using their favorite guinea pigs—American college students—they found that men, shown pictures of different female body types, picked Ms. 36-25-36 as their sexual ideal. The studies, however, failed to rule out the possibility that the preference was not innate—human nature—but, rather, the product of exposure to mass culture and the messages it sends about what's beautiful. Such basic flaws, notes Bingham, "led to complaints that many of these experiments seemed a little less than rigorous to be underpinning an entire new field."

Later studies, which got almost no attention, indeed found that in isolated populations in Peru and Tanzania, men consider hourglass women sickly looking. They prefer 0.9s—heavier women. And last December, anthropologist Elizabeth Cashdan of the University of Utah reported in the journal Current Anthropology that men now prefer this non-hourglass shape in countries where women tend to be economically independent (Britain and Denmark) and in some non-Western societies where women bear the responsibility for finding food. Only in countries where women are economically dependent on men (such as Japan, Greece and Portugal) do men have a strong preference for Barbie. (The United States is in the middle.) Cashdan puts it this way: which body type men prefer "should depend on [italics added] the degree to which they want their mates to be strong, tough, economically successful and politically competitive."

Depend on? The very phrase is anathema to the dogma of a universal human nature. But it is the essence of an emerging, competing field. Called behavioral ecology, it starts from the premise that social and environmental forces select for various behaviors that optimize people's fitness in a given environment. Different environment, different behaviors—and different human "natures." That's why men prefer Ms. 36-25-36 in some cultures (where women are, to exaggerate only a bit, decorative objects) but not others (where women bring home salaries or food they've gathered in the jungle).

And it's why the evo psych tenet that men have an inherited mental module that causes them to prefer young, beautiful women while women have one that causes them to prefer older, wealthy men also falls apart. As 21st-century Western women achieve professional success and gain financial independence, their mate preference changes, scientists led by Fhionna Moore at Scotland's University of St Andrews reported in 2006 in the journal Evolutionand Human Behaviour. The more financially independent a woman is, the more likely she is to choose a partner based on looks than bank balance—kind of like (some) men. (Yes, growing sexual equality in the economic realm means that women, too, are free to choose partners based on how hot they are, as the cougar phenomenon suggests.) Although that finding undercuts evo psych, it supports the "it depends" school of behavioral ecology, which holds that natural selection chose general intelligence and flexibility, not mental modules preprogrammed with preferences and behaviors. "Evolutionary psychology ridicules the notion that the brain could have evolved to be an all-purpose fitness-maximizing mechanism," says Hill. "But that's exactly what we keep finding."

One of the uglier claims of evo psych is that men have a mental module to neglect and even kill their stepchildren. Such behavior was adaptive back when humans were evolving, goes the popular version of this argument, because men who invested in stepchildren wasted resources they could expend on their biological children. Such kindly stepfathers would, over time, leave fewer of their own descendants, causing "support your stepchildren" genes to die out. Men with genes that sculpted the "abandon stepchildren" mental module were evolutionarily fitter, so their descendants—us—also have that preprogrammed module. The key evidence for this claim comes from studies showing that stepchildren under the age of 5 are 40 times more likely to be abused than biological children.

Those studies have come under fire, however, for a long list of reasons. For instance, many child-welfare records do not indicate who the abuser was; at least some abused stepchildren are victims of their mother, not the stepfather, the National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect reported in 2005. That suggests that records inflate the number of instances of abuse by stepfathers. Also, authorities are suspicious of stepfathers; if a child living in a stepfamily dies of maltreatment, they are nine times more likely to record it as such than if the death occurs in a home with only biological parents, found a 2002 study led by Buller examining the records of every child who died in Colorado from 1990 to 1998. That suggests that child-abuse data undercount instances of abuse by biological fathers. Finally, a 2008 study in Sweden found that many men who kill stepchildren are (surprise) mentally ill. It's safe to assume that single mothers do not exactly get their pick of the field when it comes to remarrying. If the men they wed are therefore more likely to be junkies, drunks and psychotic, then any additional risk to stepchildren reflects that fact, and not a universal mental module that tells men to abuse their new mate's existing kids. Martin Daly and Margo Wilson of Canada's McMaster University, whose work led to the idea that men have a mental module for neglecting stepchildren, now disavow the claim that such abuse was ever adaptive. But, says Daly, "attempts to deny that [being a stepfather] is a risk factor for maltreatment are simply preposterous and occasionally, as in the writings of David Buller, dishonest."

If the data on child abuse by stepfathers seem inconsistent, that's exactly the point. In some circumstances, it may indeed be adaptive to get rid of the other guy's children. In other circumstances, it is more adaptive to love and support them. Again, it depends. New research in places as different as American cities and the villages of African hunter-gatherers shows that it's common for men to care and provide for their stepchildren. What seems to characterize these situations, says Hill, is marital instability: men and women pair off, have children, then break up. In such a setting, the flexible human mind finds ways "to attract or maintain mating access to the mother," Hill explains. Or, more crudely, be nice to a woman's kids and she'll sleep with you, which maximizes a man's fitness. Kill her kids and she's likely to take it badly, cutting you off and leaving your sperm unable to fulfill their Darwinian mission. And in societies that rely on relatives to help raise kids, "it doesn't make sense to destroy a 10-year-old stepkid since he could be a helper," Hill points out. "The fitness cost of raising a stepchild until he is old enough to help is much, much less than evolutionary biologists have claimed. Biology is more complicated than these simplistic scenarios saying that killing stepchildren is an adaptation that enhances a man's fitness."

Even the notion that being a brave warrior helps a man get the girls and leave many offspring has been toppled. Until missionaries moved in in 1958, the Waorani tribe of the Ecuadoran Amazon had the highest rates of homicide known to science: 39 percent of women and 54 percent of men were killed by other Waorani, often in blood feuds that lasted generations. "The conventional wisdom had been that the more raids a man participated in, the more wives he would have and the more descendants he would leave," says anthropologist Stephen Beckerman of Pennsylvania State University. But after painstakingly constructing family histories and the raiding and killing records of 95 warriors, he and his colleagues reported last month in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, they turned that belief on its head. "The badass guys make terrible husband material," says Beckerman. "Women don't prefer them as husbands and they become the targets of counterraids, which tend to kill their wives and children, too." As a result, the über-warriors leave fewer descendants—the currency of evolutionary fitness—than less aggressive men. Tough-guy behavior may have conferred fitness in some environments, but not in others. It depends. "The message for the evolutionary-psychology guys," says Beckerman, "is that there was no single environment in which humans evolved" and therefore no single human nature.

I can't end the list of evo-psych claims that fall apart under scientific scrutiny without mentioning jealousy. Evo psych argues that jealousy, too, is an adaptation with a mental module all its own, designed to detect and thwart threats to reproductive success. But men's and women's jealousy modules supposedly differ. A man's is designed to detect sexual infidelity: a woman who allows another man to impregnate her takes her womb out of service for at least nine months, depriving her mate of reproductive opportunities. A woman's jealousy module is tuned to emotional infidelity, but she doesn't much care if her mate is unfaithful; a man, being a promiscuous cad, will probably stick with wife No. 1 and their kids even if he is sexually unfaithful, but may well abandon them if he actually falls in love with another woman.

Let's not speculate on the motives that (mostly male) evolutionary psychologists might have in asserting that their wives are programmed to not really care if they sleep around, and turn instead to the evidence. In questionnaires, more men than women say they'd be upset more by sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity, by a margin of more than 2-to-1, David Buss of the University of Texas found in an early study of American college students. But men are evenly split on which kind of infidelity upsets them more: half find it more upsetting to think of their mate falling in love with someone else; half find it more upsetting to think of her sleeping with someone else. Not very strong evidence for the claim that men, as a species, care more about sexual infidelity. And in some countries, notably Germany and the Netherlands, the percentage of men who say they find sexual infidelity more upsetting than the emotional kind is only 28 percent and 23 percent. Which suggests that, once again, it depends: in cultures with a relaxed view of female sexuality, men do not get all that upset if a woman has a brief, meaningless fling. It does not portend that she will leave him. It is much more likely that both men and women are wired to detect behavior that threatens their bond, but what that behavior is depends on culture. In a society where an illicit affair portends the end of a relationship, men should indeed be wired to care about that. In a society where that's no big deal, they shouldn't—and, it seems, don't. New data on what triggers jealousy in women also undercut the simplistic evo-psych story. Asked which upsets them more—imagining their partner having acrobatic sex with another woman or falling in love with her—only 13 percent of U.S. women, 12 percent of Dutch women and 8 percent of German women chose door No. 2. So much for the handy "she's wired to not really care if I sleep around" excuse.

Critics of evo psych do not doubt that men and women are wired to become jealous. A radar for infidelity would indeed be adaptive. But the evidence points toward something gender-neutral. Men and women have both evolved the ability to distinguish between behavior that portends abandonment and behavior that does not, and to get upset only at the former. Which behavior is which depends on the society.

Evolutionary psychology is not going quietly. It has had the field to itself, especially in the media, for almost two decades. In large part that was because early critics, led by the late evolutionary biologist Stephen Jay Gould, attacked it with arguments that went over the heads of everyone but about 19 experts in evolutionary theory. It isn't about to give up that hegemony. Thornhill is adamant that rape is an adaptation, despite Hill's results from his Ache study. "If a particular trait or behavior is organized to do something," as he believes rape is, "then it is an adaptation and so was selected for by evolution," he told me. And in the new book Spent, evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller of the University of New Mexico reasserts the party line, arguing that "males have much more to gain from many acts of intercourse with multiple partners than do females," and there is a "universal sex difference in human mate choice criteria, with men favoring younger, fertile women, and women favoring older, higher-status, richer men."

On that point, the evidence instead suggests that both sexes prefer mates around their own age, adjusted for the fact that men mature later than women. If the male mind were adapted to prefer the most fertile women, then AARP-eligible men should marry 23-year-olds, which—Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall notwithstanding—they do not, instead preferring women well past their peak fertility. And, interestingly, when Miller focuses on the science rather than tries to sell books, he allows that "human mate choice is much more than men just liking youth and beauty, and women liking status and wealth," as he told me by e-mail.

Yet evo psych remains hugely popular in the media and on college campuses, for obvious reasons. It addresses "these very sexy topics," says Hill. "It's all about sex and violence," and has what he calls "an obsession with Pleistocene just-so stories." And few people—few scientists—know about the empirical data and theoretical arguments that undercut it. "Most scientists are too busy to read studies outside their own narrow field," he says.

Far from ceding anything, evolutionary psychologists have moved the battle from science, where they are on shaky ground, to ideology, where bluster and name-calling can be quite successful. UNM's Miller, for instance, complains that critics "have convinced a substantial portion of the educated public that evolutionary psychology is a pernicious right-wing conspiracy," and complains that believing in evolutionary psychology is seen "as an indicator of conservatism, disagreeableness and selfishness." That, sadly, is how much too much of the debate has gone. "Critics have been told that they're just Marxists motivated by a hatred of evolutionary psychology," says Buller. "That's one reason I'm not following the field anymore: the way science is being conducted is more like a political campaign."

Where, then, does the fall of evolutionary psychology leave the idea of human nature? Behavioral ecology replaces it with "it depends"—that is, the core of human nature is variability and flexibility, the capacity to mold behavior to the social and physical demands of the environment. As Buller says, human variation is not noise in the system; it is the system. To be sure, traits such as symbolic language, culture, tool use, emotions and emotional expression do indeed seem to be human universals. It's the behaviors that capture the public imagination—promiscuous men and monogamous women, stepchild-killing men and the like—that turn out not to be. And for a final nail in the coffin, geneticists have discovered that human genes evolve much more quickly than anyone imagined when evolutionary psychology was invented, when everyone assumed that "modern" humans had DNA almost identical to that of people 50,000 years ago. Some genes seem to be only 10,000 years old, and some may be even younger.

That has caught the attention of even the most ardent proponents of evo psych, because when the environment is changing rapidly—as when agriculture was invented or city-states arose—is also when natural selection produces the most dramatic changes in a gene pool. Yet most of the field's leaders, admits UNM's Miller, "have not kept up with the last decade's astounding progress in human evolutionary genetics." The discovery of genes as young as agriculture and city-states, rather than as old as cavemen, means "we have to rethink to foundational assumptions" of evo psych, says Miller, starting with the claim that there are human universals and that they are the result of a Stone Age brain. Evolution indeed sculpted the human brain. But it worked in malleable plastic, not stone, bequeathing us flexible minds that can take stock of the world and adapt to it.

With Jeneen Interlandi

URL: http://www.newsweek.com/id/202789

 

 

Email: moderator@gaybombay.in

Web Sites:

www.gaybombay.in

www.gaybombay.info

www.gayindia.org

E Groups:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay

http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay

GB Radio

www.gaybombay.in/gbradio

Gaybombay breaking news and annoucements

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/Gaybombay

Emergency Helpline number 9820565885

Orkut:

http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=22091955 

 Blogs:

http://gaybombay.blogspot.com

http://gaybombay.wordpress.com 

Twitter

http://twitter.com/gaybombay

 

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A gay Indian prince cut off from the throne by his furious parents is to open a chain of men only bars and nightclubs across the country

Korma back to my place

Korma back to my place

A gay Indian prince cut off from the throne by his furious parents is to open a chain of men only bars and nightclubs across the country.

Prince Manvendrasinh Gohil, 43, says he wants to make homosexuality more acceptable in India.

"I want to start commercial gay ventures like gay bars, gay clubs and gay motels and employ gay men and support them to give them a stable life," he told reporters in India's western Baroda city.

The Gujarati prince is just back from Brazil's Gay Pride festival in Sao Paulo and said: "The experience was terrific."

The prince was disinherited by his family when he came out and shocked a nation where homosexuality is still illegal.

 

 

Email: moderator@gaybombay.in

Web Sites:

www.gaybombay.in

www.gaybombay.info

www.gayindia.org

E Groups:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay

http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay

GB Radio

www.gaybombay.in/gbradio

Gaybombay breaking news and annoucements

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/Gaybombay

Emergency Helpline number 9820565885

Orkut:

http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=22091955 

 Blogs:

http://gaybombay.blogspot.com

http://gaybombay.wordpress.com 

Twitter

http://twitter.com/gaybombay

 

Re: shame on us What will YOU do Prashant?

Dear Prashant,

One of the purpose of posting my mail was to provoke you guys to thinking and responding, whichever way. I am glad you use bad words. At least your honest with your feelings.

And please don't misunderstand me, I am not against homosexuals who are married.

Just to respond to your email, all I read in your email is your suggestions for the NGOs, MEdia and Government.

My only question to you is what are YOU going to do? How are YOU going to contribute.

And if you have any suggestions on how WE should go ahead,

what is your suggestion for us?

Regards
Zameer

I just read you saying the Government should do this and that.

--- Prashant <pg2@yahoo.com> schrieb am Mi, 24.6.2009:

> Von: Prashant <pg2@yahoo.com>
> Betreff: Re: shame on us
> An: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "GayAhmedabad" <gayahmedabad@googlegroups.com>, "GayBangalore" <gaybangalore@googlegroups.com>, "GayBombay" <gaybombay@googlegroups.com>, "GayBombay Blogger" <gaybombay.sasha1989@blogger.com>, "GayBombayGroup" <gaybombaygroup@yahoogroups.com>, "Gaycalcutta" <gaycalcutta@googlegroups.com>, gaycalcuttagroup@yahoogroups.com, "GayChennai" <gaychennai@googlegroups.com>, "GayChennaiYahooGroup" <gaychennaigroup@yahoogroups.com>, "GayDelhi" <gaydelhi@googlegroups.com>, "GayIndia" <gayindia@googlegroups.com>, "time84xuse@post. wordpress. com" <time84xuse@post.wordpress.com>
> CC: zamkam@yahoo.de
> Datum: Mittwoch, 24. Juni 2009, 16:47
> Dear
> all,
>  
>
> I
> never want to use bad words for anybody but this time I am
> using. The writer of this mail is a fool and a total
> stupid.
>  
>
> I am
> an Indian gay man and I am married with a woman. About five
> years ago, I disclosed to my wife that I am gay. My
> children also know about it. In spite of this, if I was
> in that gay party, I would have agreed to pay any amount
> (even several lakhs of rupees) to the police, rather than
> being arrested, resulting in an announcement of my
> homosexuality to the whole world.
>  
>
> If
> today the people come to know that I am a homosexual, the
> prospects of the marriage of my children, who will soon
> approach marriageable age, will be simply finished. I cannot
> ruin the lives of my children, come what may. I also want to
> live a true life openly as a gay with dignity (and that is
> the reason why I myself disclosed to my wife and children)
> but not at this cost.
>  
>
> Most
> gay men in India are married, they have children, and their
> children go to school. If the people come to know about
> a school child that his father is gay and he was caught
> attending a gay party, it should not be very difficult for
> we people to understand the consequences. Those young gay
> boys who are unmarried might also have younger brothers and
> sisters who will have to be married away by their parents in
> due course. If the news about their gay status spreads in
> the society in this way, their siblings can never hope to
> get married. I do not think that I need to write
> more on this issue. All of us know that in India the
> families of such gay men will be outcasted, will be
> completely boycotted, may be thrown out of the colony, may
> be attacked and worse can happen. The gay man will be thrown
> out of his job; he will lose all his clients if he is in
> business and worse will happen. To be
> precise, some gay men will have to commit suicide if their
> homosexuality is disclosed to the world in this way. In
> spite of the suicide, the reputation of their families will
> be completely lost. The writer of this mail ought to know
> this.
>  
>
> The
> organizers of this party have invited trouble on their own
> by their irresponsible and unruly behaviour. Whenever you
> are going to have a large gathering of people, the first
> thing which you should do is to inform the local police in
> advance and take their permission for the event. The
> organizers did not do this. On the contrary, they were
> playing loud music in the midnight creating trouble for
> others. If heterosexual men and women organize such parties
> to solicit sex, their party will also be raided by police.
> We regularly read in the newspapers about certain rave
> parties being raided by the law enforcing agencies due to
> unruly behaviour of the participants who are heterosexuals.
> Even after the removal of 377, the police will raid such
> parties. Removal of 377 is not a license to seek and solicit
> sex in a large gathering of people any where any time. Even
> heterosexuals will be prosecuted if they
> do this. If you organize such a party and indulge in
> unruly behaviour after 377 goes, the police will certainly
> blackmail you. They will threaten you to book you under some
> other section for which you will have to reveal your name
> and address, and then the police will threaten you that
> they will inform your wife and parents that you are gay
> unless you pay them.
>  
>
> As
> long as you have a secret and a hidden life, you are
> vulnerable to blackmail. 377 or no 377, it makes no
> difference. This is true of any other secret which you might
> have. If you have taken bribe and somebody knows this, he
> can black mail you. If you have stolen something and
> somebody comes to know about it, you can be blackmailed. The
> only option left for you is to have an open life, without
> any secrets.
>  
>
> This
> is the reason I have been requesting that we should fight
> the government for creating an acceptability of
> homosexuality in the society, not just removal of 377. The
> govt. should start it with Same-sex Marriage Law.
> Thereafter, the govt. should publish the opinion of medical
> science about homosexuality in newspapers, magazines, show
> it on TV, radio etc. and also publicize it through all other
> means of mass communication. We should force the government
> to launch special drives so that gays come out of their
> closet. The govt. should make teams of medical doctors,
> psychiatrists, social workers, government officers of the
> ministry of social welfare, NGO's etc. who will
> publicize in the society that being a homosexual is same as
> being a heterosexual and there is no difference between the
> two. The government should highly publicise the addresses
> and contact details of such teams and create help lines
> to which gay men can contact. After this, these teams
> should meet the parents, relatives, neighbours, colleagues,
> friends etc. of the gay men, disclose to them that the man
> is a gay and there is nothing wrong in it. Similarly, we
> should force the government to launch special drives for
> married gay men and encourage them to take divorce telling
> their relatives and friends the truth about homosexuality.
>
>
>  
> This
> is the correct way to come out, and not the way this stupid
> gentle man is suggesting - solicit sex in a gay party, get
> arrested, and get disclosed. Horrible!
>  
>
> I am
> sorry to use the bad words in my mail, but I am very
> agitated the way this mail has been written.
>
>  
> Prashant 
>
> --- On Tue, 23/6/09, moderator@gaybombay.in
> <moderator@gaybombay.in> wrote:
> Shame
> on us! Or The story of the "reverse gear"..
>
>
>
>
>
> Posted by: "kamble
> zameer" zamkam@yahoo.de   zamkam
> Tue Jun 23, 2009
> 5:37 am (PDT) SHAME
> ON US
>
> Two days back there was a gay party, held in a village in
> Lonavala by a person, who generally arranges the gay parties
> in Pune.
>
> I was going to the Lonavala party for the first time and
> had taken along three close friends with me. Two of them are
> out and also act in my play OFFBEAT. One of them, a muslim
> guy is in the process of outing himself due to marriage
> pressure at home. Then there was my date, a chat friend from
> a remote village in Rajasthan, who shifted to Pune, just
> last month, again
> due to marraige pressure at home. I was glad that he was
> atleast clear about not getting married and I had kind of
> also motivated him by describing to him the queer movement
> in India in general. He was thrilled to know about the gay
> parties in Mumbai and Pune. So I had promised him to take to
> the said Lonavala Party.
>
> My Muslim friend had got one more friend along, he was
> coming to this party for the first time too. He is a south
> indian and is not out to his family too.
>
> Out of the way we also picked one more friend from Nigdi,
> who acted in my short film, but had requested me to not
> screen his real name in the film titles.
>
> On the way we had our fun of having drinks, wada-pav and
> singing "gay" songs like "Hum tum dono jab
> mil jayen'gay' ", etc. When we finally reached
> the spot at 12.30, we realized, we were falling short of
> some money. Since we had got so many friends with us, the
> organizer didnt mind it, he still let us
> in.
>
> Inside there was loud music in perfect mild light and lots
> of good (hee hee!) guys dancing. I joined in with my date
> and started enjoying the music too. Since I and two of my
> friends were drunk, we had some good share of funny moments
> too.
>
> At around 1.30 three policemen stormed in the bunglow and
> asked us to stop the music. They came inside and checked the
> whole bungalow, looked for alcohol bottles and stared at our
> "queer" presence.
>
> We all were obviously scared to death. The policemen went
> in the corridor of the bungalow and started interrogating
> the organizer and the DJs who apparently were localites.
>
> I forgot my fear as soon as the organizer came to me asking
> for help. So I went out to the cops, gave them all details
> about myself, told them I am a German Teacher in the
> University of Pune, I voluntarily also work for
> HIV-Awareness etc. I didnt want to say "Gay"
> because I didnt want them to have ideas if they already
> hadnt realized it yet. But no, they knew it. The cops
> immediately asked me, why were we partying with
> "reverse" people here. It didnt take much time for
> me to understand that "reverse" was their word for
> gay. The cop asked me to stop convincing him and ordered me
> to get all the people out and to give thier names and
> addresses.
>
> I went inside and for the first time I saw faces, because
> now there was light. Most of them were scared, silent and
> staring at me with hope and fear. Two of my actor friends
> asked me what happened. I told them that the cops want us to
> come out of the bungalow and give our details. Immediately
> people started panicking. But I and my friends were
> convinced that this is the time to come out and say the
> truth. I had shown the film "Milk" to them
> recently and we were obviously on a high and thought it to
> be appropriate to go in custody and start the movement in
> Pune.
>
> But the majority of people had other plans. They
> rejected our idea there and then. They wanted to pay bribe
> to the cops and have the thing settled as soon as possible.
> I personaly very well understand how difficult it is to come
> out and especialy the way I and my friends were wishing it.
> So I again went to the cops, persuaded them, asked them what
> amount they wish to have.
>
> The cop told me that he would take one thousand rupees from
> each of us. I said, it was obviously impossible for all of
> us to pay you a thousand each, simply also because we didnt
> have that much money with us. He was reluctant, didnt want
> to hear any arguments and reminded me that he knew there are
> "reverse" people in the party. I was annoyed by
> then, I told him that being "reverse" is not a
> crime. We agree we had drinks, played loud music so late,
> but just for being "reverse" you cannot charge us
> thousand rupees each.
>
> He got angry with me, said the typical, "Dont teach me
> the law, I will show you the law, I will take
> all of you in custody and you will be in the newspapers
> tomorrow." I knew my two friends would be happy to hear
> it, thats what we wished. But unfortunately there were other
> people there to persuade the cops, they didnt like the way I
> was conversing with the cops and were shit scared by that
> declaration of the cops. So they all requested me to shut my
> mouth and took me inside.
>
> I went inside and saw the scared faces again. There were
> many stories hidden behind these faces. One of them asked me
> whether he could pay them his thousand rupees and go. There
> was one who was from Mumbai and was irritated by the bad
> organizing skills of Puneites. There were some transgenders
> who were the only ones who were ready to go for my plan.
> They said, "Just let us speak with the cops, we will do
> such "Hijadpan" (acts) that they will immediately
> leave us." And I knew they were saying the truth. I
> have seen it myself many a time, the policemen generally
> leave
> transgenders and Hijras. One of my transgender friend
> says, the policemen leave them because they cant take the
> ugly. For them we are the ugliest part of the society,
> already meaningless, hopeless creatures and hence they
> expect no returns from us, so they leave us. But here I was
> trying out the political, intellectual way, in vain of
> course. My heart went out for those transgender friends
> and I bursted out crying because my socalled
> "gay", upwardly mobile "queens" were not
> ready to come out. I had seen them doing the unimaginable in
> the dark, but now they were not even ready to be
> themselves.
>
> One of them said, he recently got married and was ready to
> give away his wedding ring. He said, he didnt want his
> parents and wife to know that he was gay. There were some
> who managed to run away. One of them was the friend from
> Nigdi, whom we had picked up out of the way. He asked the
> newbie, south indian friends of ours to come along. But he
> told him,
> he cannot leave alone, without us, his friends.
>
> Finally the people collected whatever money they had and it
> was hard for me to believe, they actually paid the policemen
> a total amount of 22,000 rupees with a wedding ring. With
> that the police left.
>
> Angrily I took my friends, took the "reverse"
> gear and came back home. Reached home early morning, was
> thinking all the while, with my head rested on the chest of
> my date. My date by the way was also very scared, but he
> stood with us, whenever I went inside the bungalow with
> updates about the police, he held my hands and said, he is
> very scared. I always consoled him saying, "Dont worry,
> everything will be alright."
>
> we all went to sleep in my one BHK. I slept hugging my date
> and was blessed with intimate sex with him in the morning. I
> had already decided to write about this. But was waiting for
> different perspectives. All friends shared their stories.
> Some of them remembered that the DJS
> and the organizers had maintained their cool, which left
> us wondering, that it could be a set up by them. If it was,
> then it is all the more sad.
>
> But what leaves me sad and ashamed is the chance we all
> missed, to come out, to take a stand, to be authentic and
> honest to our own identity. I remembered the scenes in the
> film "Milk". The first scene of the film shows
> cops taking away homosexuals from clubs in jail. I also
> rememberd a dialogue of Milk commenting on "Anita
> something", who was against homosexuals. He says'
> "Anita is born to bring us homosexuals together. I am
> glad she is being herself." I thought, had the cops
> been a bit honest and did their duty, they could have got us
> together.
>
> The next day I saw a sms on my mobile phone. The friend
> from Nigdi, who had escaped the police had sent it. He says:
> "Sorry, I was very scared and didnt know what to do.
> Hope you will forgive me, your coward friend."
>
> I didnt answer it. I have no
>
> answer...
>
> Love Cricket? Check out live scores,
> photos, video highlights and more.
> Click here.